Perfection

Can you feel it?

That deep down inside of you urge to do whatever it is you do (or happen to be doing right now or plan on doing soon) in the absolute most perfect way possible?

That nagging, gnawing, frustrating feeling that what you just did (or did a long time ago) could have been better?

I get that feeling a lot and I've gotta tell you it is really annoying. I never feel like I'm giving "it" my "all". I never feel like I'm running at 100%. I never feel like I'm worthy of even the simplest compliment because I know, deep down I could have done better.

Why is that?

I think it's because we live in an imperfect world. A world that is broken and bleeding. A world torn around the edges and down the middle. But, once upon a time, there was a perfect world. There was world just as God made it. Just as He intended. Sometimes I feel as if that world is just around the corner. I feel as if I could reach out and touch it if I could just align myself a few degrees and a slice of time askew from this world.

Somehow, somewhere, locked up in our DNA is the memory of that prior world and the knowledge of that other existence. We can somehow sense that its there. Just out of reach. Tantalizingly close. Infuriatingly far.

I think that's where our desire for perfection comes from. Knowing that perfection does exist. Knowing that we were made for perfection. Knowing that someday we will find perfection with our Father in Heaven. Desiring some small bit of that perfection in our mundane, ordinary and very imperfect lives.

I acknowledge the fact that I am imperfect but I don't accept it. Perfection is a journey, not a destination. I would rather be miserable going forward in the pursuit of perfection than happy, content and complacent going backward.